Single parents face multiple challenges as they juggle various responsibilities with work obligations. You’ve probably experienced being on a work-related call while preparing dinner for your kids, or making changes to a presentation or report while dealing with the laundry. But while you do your best to fulfill everything that you need to do, life has a funny way of throwing a wrench into plans. Maybe it’s crunch time at the office and you get a call from the school to pick up your child, who was feeling fine this morning but is now complaining of a severe stomach ache. Or you’re about to leave for your kid’s game, but your car refuses to start, no matter what you do.
Dealing with emergencies and last-minute inconveniences, on top of your usual responsibilities, can take a toll on your mental wellbeing. In fact, a recent study has shown that 31.5 percent of single mothers report signs of severe psychological distress, while a different research has found that single fathers are more likely to engage in unhealthy behaviors than partnered fathers since it’s their way to deal with stress. The best things in life, and sometimes the worst, tend to happen when you’re not expecting them. That’s why it’s important to have a plan for multiple scenarios so you can be prepared to face these challenges, whenever they may come. Life doesn’t go as planned, so here’s how to handle unexpected disruptions as a single parent.
Practice Proactive Risk Management
Adults know all too well that if anything will go wrong, it will. Most people think that there’s no way to escape the effects of Murphy’s Law, but preparation can reduce its impact and change your mindset from passive victimhood to active risk management. For instance, you can start creating a comprehensive financial plan to address short-term illnesses or medical emergencies that you or your kids may face, such as having a bone fracture, severe pain, high fever, or anything that requires you to get urgent care. If you have a family history of serious or life-threatening health conditions like cancer, COPD, diabetes, or Alzheimer’s, make sure that you have the financial capabilities to cover your long-term care. Doing so allows you to feel assured that your kids won’t have to carry the financial burden if ever you do get sick.
Proactive risk management should not only be practiced during serious financial planning activities, but also when trying to avoid small inconveniences that can raise your stress levels. Ever experienced having to go out at 10PM to buy some posterboard for a school project that’s due the next day? To prevent this from happening again, stay on top of kids’ projects and group activities, and fill a drawer or a large box with often-used project and art supplies. Your child just told you that they need to bring food to share with their classmates tomorrow? Make sure that your pantry is always stocked with ingredients to make a simple yet delicious baked treat. Baked goods like sugar cookies, banana bread, brownies, or muffins require one bowl and minimal ingredients, and baking takes only between 10 to 30 minutes.
Have a Backup Plan
Having a backup plan is vital when you’re preparing to deal with the unexpected since it provides a sense of security. It also allows you to recover quickly in case the primary plan doesn’t pan out. For example, let’s say that you’ve designated a friend or relative to provide support in case of emergencies, like if you can’t make afterschool pickup due to an urgent meeting. But what if that person isn’t available? As they say, it takes a village to raise children, so expand your village and designate two other people for back-up.
One of them can be a parent of your child’s friend, preferably one who you trust and have known for a long time, and another trusted individual who is familiar with your child and lives or works nearby. Get confirmation that they’re willing to do pickup on short notice, and inform the school that a non-relative will be coming to pick up your child. Be sure that your backup brings identification since the school may need to verify their identity before they release your little one.
A backup plan also makes sense when dealing with household or logistical emergencies. Find out if your community has carpools or emergency ride services so your family can still get to school or work even if your car breaks down in the morning. You should also stock your freezer with microwaveable meals to provide healthy options for your kids in case of a kitchen emergency (you burned the food, your cat stole the meat that you planned to cook) or if you’re too sick to cook.
Be Prepared for a Sick Day
Speaking of being sick, there may come a time when you’re just too sick to function. If this happens, you need to be able to count on your kids to do simple tasks, such as feeding and cleaning themselves. Older children can be taught how to operate the microwave and do the dishes, while toddlers can learn simple self-care tasks like washing their hands, brushing their teeth, or changing clothes. If your child has a disability or is too young to follow instructions, create a written emergency plan that details your daily routine, contact numbers, medication schedule, and other important information. Display it in a visible place so that a sitter or relative will know what to do. This allows you to get some much needed rest so you can recover, even if it’s just for a day.
Life can throw you curveballs when you least expect them, so be prepared to deal with them before they come your way. Consider these tips to handle unexpected disruptions so you can thrive and stay healthy while solo parenting.
