A move to a new neighborhood, town, city, or state is no small feat and requires significant effort. 83% of people said they find moving to be stressful, based on results from one online survey commissioned by Forbes Advisor and conducted by Talker Research of 1,000 Americans who have moved over 500 miles in the last five years. For families in transition, a move can be even more of an endeavor, as it can uproot children from school, friends, and routine activities. Thankfully, parents can pioneer a smooth transition by simply understanding how a move can impact their children in addition to the implementation of helpful strategies that can ease the stress of a big move.
The significant impact of a move
In the age of remote work, millennials are able to settle down wherever they see fit. Many have chosen to move to suburbia, as census data suggests that factors such as housing affordability and the demand for larger homes are associated with millennial suburbanisation. With priorities such as work-life balance and financial security, remote work enables parents to focus on family amidst a move, though that doesn’t make the relocation process any less stressful for the children, as a move can have significant psychological effects. For example, research demonstrates a connection between moving and depression in children, particularly when the move involves a new school. Verywell Mind points out that a move doesn’t impact every child this way, though the association between depression and such a life-changing event “warrants awareness and a plan to ensure a smooth transition.” It’s further noted that the circumstances of a move (such as a divorce, or a necessary move due to military relocation) can play into your child’s mental health as well — for example, a relocation due to divorce means that your child will have to adjust to a new home, school, and a new family structure.
A routine is vital
The development of a routine is ideal when the goal is to help your children adjust to a new home. For example, consistent bedtimes, mealtimes, and activities can help create a sense of predictability — even in a new and strange environment. “Younger kids in general thrive with routine and predictability,” notes Jamie Howard, PhD, a trauma expert who is a clinical advisor to the Child Mind Institute. “You’re uprooting some of that with a move, which is difficult,” Howard further explains, and goes on to stress the importance that parents establish a routine as soon as possible. The development of a routine in regard to the basics is a great place to start, especially when sports and other activities may be on hold directly after the move. Structure can help both parents and kids to stay on top of a new routine, with chore charts, to-do lists, and a family calendar all useful throughout the transition.
If your child was well-connected in your previous neighborhood, it’s important to provide them with the chance to keep in touch with their friends. Video chat, social media (depending on their age), and even old-fashioned snail mail can all make for easy and fun ways to stay in touch. As such, the incorporation of such ideas into a daily or weekly routine can be a great way to help your child adjust, though it’s important to get them involved in their new neighborhood as well. Before the move, take the time to do research on age-friendly community sports, play groups, and other activities or child-friendly events can all present as ideal ways to get involved and make new friends.
Your time and patience are essential
Time spent with your children is equally as crucial when the goal is to help them adjust to such a major change. Not only will this quality time help you better gauge how they process the move, but will alert you to any concerns such as mental health issues. In relation to the adjustment to a new school, one Architectural Digest article highlights advice from Katherine Lee, Ph.D. and associate professor in residence at the University of Nevada, Los Vegas. In particular, Lee notes that it’s important that parents try to understand the child’s world and what the situation is like from their perspective. “This will take time, but once you can see what it is like to go through their day-to-day life from morning till bedtime, you will be more astute to the key influencers and players in their lives and understand where their strengths are and also where their potential challenges might be,” she says.
It’s important to take the time to consistently spend meaningful moments with your children when your goal is to help them successfully adjust to a new home and school. A South University article unveils several benefits to family activities as relayed by Nourish Interactive, which include better communication between family members, superior performances in school, and the creation of a stronger emotional bond between parents and children. Furthermore, it’s noted that children are less likely to exhibit behavioral problems. While family time may vary based on your family’s specific situation, there are a plethora of options that can make for memorable quality time spent together. A planned visit to a national park, an activity like fishing, reading a new book to your child, or even setting up an evening of arts and crafts can all present worthy ideas.
A move is a major change in anyone’s life, though can be particularly disruptive for children who may have to change schools and develop new friendships. By taking the time to implement a new routine that focuses on quality family time and staying in touch with old friends, parents can help ease the transition of such an impactful event,
