No one ever thinks that their spouse will end up in prison. But it can happen. So, when a loved one goes to jail, the first thing to remember is that you’re not alone. There are resources that other single parents have utilized to deal with it, such as this blog post. Here, we’ll share with you some strategies to help you support your kids and equip them to navigate this difficult situation.
Enabling children to deal with parental incarceration
These are some of the tips to help you support your youngsters during this challenging time.
1. Communicate with your kids effectively.
As parents, it’s crucial to have open conversations with our children about the realities of life—especially the harsher ones. This isn’t to say that they ought to have a bleak perspective about everything. However, they do need to realize that bad events can happen and affect them and their loved ones.
It’s essential to approach these talks in a developmentally appropriate way. You can use language and examples relevant to your child’s age. Secondly, be honest but gentle when discussing difficult topics, and take breaks if needed. Supporting each other through this process and offering resources like books, media, or counseling can empower our little ones to navigate these unprecedented times with confidence.
2. Let them know they’re not responsible for what’s happening.
It can be easy to feel like we’re all alone and shouldering the burden of responsibility entirely. But It’s important to let our children truly grasp that they are valued and that their feelings are valid. And this is regardless of what goes on. Gently spell it out for them: “None of this is your fault.” Emphasize that your love will always be unconditional even though things seem difficult now. Finally, remember to show that you appreciate them and will support them however you can. This will keep relationships strong despite turbulent environments.
3. Help them understand their feelings.
Supporting your kids as they come to terms with having their mom or dad in prison can be incredibly uplifting for them. Being a safe place where your child can go with their emotions is paramount as it will build healthy coping mechanisms. So, please encourage them to speak about how they’re feeling. Be mindful not to pass judgment or trivialize their thoughts. This is a great way to foster trust and security and remind each other about the importance of expressing oneself. Don’t forget to give them space—allow them plenty of opportunities to let out their feelings. And make sure to listen intently.
4. Keep routines as stable as possible.
Take care to keep routines as normal as possible. This is a highly effective way to give your children the emotional safety they need. Not only will it bring you a sense of control and familiarity, but it will also set up a framework for success. In addition, a consistent schedule provides structure and stability. It’s especially beneficial when other areas of life feel out of control. So how does one go about this?
First, create daily habits like going for walks outside and keeping regular sleeping and eating hours. Also, dedicate enough time to allow each other to pursue individual interests. This can all contribute to your enhanced mental and physical well-being. Yet another strategy is to set clear expectations. Doing so will help everyone know their roles and how they can make life easier for the rest of the family. Stability comes with understanding what’s expected while allowing each other to grow at the same time.
5. Seek support from other parents and professionals.
When parenting feels overwhelming, it can be hard to find the energy to reach out and ask for help. Yet, it’s important to remember that you don’t have to go through this alone. Many parents, as well as professionals, are available to offer support. Talking with others who understand first-hand what you’re experiencing can be an invaluable source of insight and strength. Counselors and therapists can also provide guidance on managing stress or creating more positive communication patterns with your little ones. So, reach out, even if it is a struggle at first.
6. Teach your children to handle finances.
Equipping your kids with financial skills becomes especially relevant when you’re the sole income provider. With your spouse in jail, intentionally instructing your young ones the basics of budgeting and saving is critical. So, empower them by forging a solid money mindset. One great way to start is by putting up a mock bank account with your child, like a pretend “savings account.” This can help them set aside specific amounts for monthly extras or treats without breaking the bank. It’s also necessary to educate them about debt. For example, you can explain to them how credit cards work. Take the time to explain how easy it can be to develop careless spending habits, which can eventually lead to financial problems. Having this knowledge early on will undoubtedly serve them well later in life. Ultimately, having some structure around money will enable you all to get through this difficult period together.
A final note
Parental incarceration is difficult to confront as it can cause a wide range of emotions in children. Thus, it is important to be honest with them while also expressing love, compassion, and understanding. Although nothing can take a parent’s place, many resources are available for you and your children. Professional counseling can also assist everyone in acquiring skills for overcoming challenges successfully. Additionally, support groups are an excellent source of advice and guidance from those who have shared similar experiences.
Regardless of the circumstances, getting the necessary assistance will be key in overcoming any obstacles your family may face while on this journey. We at Parenting Advisor are here for you—see us or visit our blog today.